Does Walmart really pay you enough?

I'm writing this post from the comfort...and safety of my sofa. In 9 hours the corporate proclaimed holiday entitled "Black Friday" will have passed and the population..and our pocketbooks will be safe once more.

I fell asleep around 12:30 am. For some reason I couldn't sleep, but trust me, it was NOT because I was excited. If anything it was anxiety causing my sleeplessness. Originally our plan was to endure the shopping marathon from hell with Alyssa's friend Erica, but somewhere in the middle of our Thanksgiving evening we managed to pick up Alyssa's aunt and cousin as well. If you've ever been shopping on the day of days, you know that the bigger and faster your team is, the better chance you have.

3:00 AM. The alarm clock awakens me. This is it, time to wake up, get some caffeine in me, and prepare myself.
3:30 AM. We're out the door, on the way to pick up Erica whose car will not start. Seems to be a bad omen but I shrug it off and
continue on our journey to Walmart.

3:45ish AM. In the Walmart parking lot. We meet up with Alyssa's family and head for the doors which are already crowded with a cadre of people. We thought we were being wise by showing up an hour early. We were wrong. Alyssa's aunt and her cousin decide to make a run for coffee, we were grateful...it was freezing outside.

4:05 AM. They open the doors but tell us to stop at the end of the registers. Apparently they felt bad leaving the cattle out in the cold. We had to leave Alyssa's family behind in order to save our spots. Alyssa called them and told them to return ASAP and get our coffee from Dunkin Donuts.

4:35 AM. Got our maps and scoped out where the things we wanted were located. At this point in the game there were probably a thousand people or more waiting to go and the number was increasing exponentially by the minute. Decided that I had better finish my boiling hot drink before the madness ensued. Using my drink as a weapon of war had crossed my mind but it is not in my nature to scald another human being for a gift item. Finished the drink. Due to my location in the herd and my inability to reach a garbage can, I added a decorative Dunkin Donuts cup as an ornament to the store Christmas tree.

4:52 AM. This is the last time I checked the hour. I noticed the masses had managed to inch their way forward slowly..pressing back the poor, frightened Walmart staff. I made it very clear to Alyssa and Erica that I was under no circumstances going to run...so if they saw my gift item (which will remain anonymous because certain people may be reading this) to grab it and hold it until I caught up.

When they let everyone go..the sound was maddening. There was screaming, people running and items being thrown about. It was like war...only the weapons were barbies and the soldiers were desperate moms and dads who were just trying to make their children happy. Alyssa and Erica started off at a walking pace..but about half-way through the store they had quickened to a jog..and finally again to an all out sprint, leaving me in their dust. I turned the corner and started to head toward electronics, where my gift item was located and I found myself horrified by what I saw. The entire aisle was impassible. We're talking 50 ft by ...oh...300-400 yards..that was jammed FULL of people with shopping carts, dollys with tvs and all with determined or concerned looks on their faces. I had noticed that Alyssa, in her state of panic..and maybe even fear, had passed an important item on our list that we needed multiples of. I decided that my one item was not as important as these gifts..so I stopped and grabbed the amount needed of said item. I continued onward, through the sea of people, dodging runners and shopping carts. All of this while trying to attend the wounds I was receiving from repeated jabs in the ribs with certain items protruding from said carts...some of these items the exact one I was after. The number of these items in peoples carts seemed to be increasing as I waded to the electronics section of the store...equally increasing were my injuries caused by said items. I finally made it to my destination. Electronics. By now I had completely lost everyone in my shopping party. I looked up, asking God why he had destined me to do this alone. I went to the section of electronics where the item I wanted should have been. This is where I saw the most amazing thing ever....

I literally watched 2 pallets of Nintendo Wii's ..stacked about 5 feet high...disappear right before my eyes. One second they were there...the next they weren't. At this point I was grateful that I had impulse purchased mine last year. I looked as best I could through the swarm of human beings (if that's what you could call them at this point) and could not see what I was looking for. They were all gone. Every single one. The ONE item I just HAD to get..and they were gone. I almost burst into tears. After that moment of weakness I had decided that preserving my life was more important and that I needed to get moving lest I be trampled into paste. I walked around electronics and caught up with Alyssa and helped her and Erica work out their lists.

After what seemed like a lifetime, Alyssa and Erica had everything they wanted. Or at least close to it. I was still very disappointed but also just as determined to get out of this mess alive. We met up with Alyssa's aunt and cousin and worked out a plan of escape. While we were sketching out a battle plan, my sister's boyfriend came up behind me and recounted the tale of his attempt to procure a gift for my sister. He had arrived too late as well and had to get something in lieu of what he had originally intended. He asked us where something else was located, we told him and wished him luck on his search. Alyssa then remembered another item that she needed to get that required a return trip into what I now unaffectionately call "Mordor".
We spent a few minutes trying to round up an associate to remove the item from the lock up..and then started heading out. I turned around to leave and saw that someone had actually returned one of the items that Eric was looking for earlier. I quickly grabbed it up and made it my mission to find him. On our way by the register..the associate there mentioned to the associate who had just helped us..that the manager just across the way had one of the items that I was looking for. I had no idea whether the item was already spoken for or not, but after everything I had gone through....I had to try. I walked over to the manager and ..doing the best acting I had EVER done...CALMLY asked him if the item was spoken for. He said that it was NOT spoken for and I offered him any monetary value that he requested ..if he would just give it to me. He gave it up..and for a moment..I became religious. Funny how that works. So now I have what I came for, the last one in the store...and I'm not just saying that to make the story better either. It's not over though..I still must find Eric and get out of retail purgatory. I looked all over the store trying to find him but there were way too many people and way too many places he could be. I never did find him and I ended up returning the item. Ironically while we were in line to check out..he ended up standing right behind me and I told him that I failed him ..and that I would make it up to him somehow..someday...maybe next black friday:) Standing in the checkout aisle made me think of a bad birthday party where you get great gifts but you have opened your presents and got everything you wanted..but now you just have to suffer through till the end of the party before you can play with what you got.
We all paid for our stuff...got it out into the car and left. We did make a trip to Staples as well..but when we saw the line for the register wrapped completely around the building, we decided that nothing would be worth that long of a wait in line.
We got home and Alyssa started looking at her receipts. Turns out one of the items that she had purchased, she ended up being charged $20 more than it was advertised for on the website. This meant another inescapable trip to ... Walmart. We took the item to the service desk..where we were told that they had no ability to match their OWN website prices and that the only thing they could do was return it for a refund. I know....how much sense does that make right? Walmart is a multi-million dollar corporation...and they can't even price match themselves on their own website. All of this even though the website had said "In Stores" right next to the price of the item. Alyssa decided she would just get her money refunded and buy the item on the web instead. She ended up saving quite a bit even with shipping included.

To end my story, we all made it out alive and with...well..few injuries. My ribs feel like they might be bruised.:(

There was a Walmart in Arkansas where one poor Walmart associate was actually trampled to death by crazed shoppers who literally took the doors off of their tracks on the way in. This is the link:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081128/ap_on_re_us/wal_mart_death

May our thoughts and prayers go out to this person's family. What a horrible way to go out.

Black Friday is a great example of how hysterical society can become over material items. It's sad when someone actually loses their life over an item that will probably be forgotten by next Christmas.

All in all it WAS an interesting experience. I'm glad no one was seriously injured here. Also, Dave Trask was right...in the starting moments, we were all rounded up like a large herd of cattle. I tried mooing, but nothing really became of my efforts. I'm glad I gave it a shot though:)

Happy Holidays all!

Photo credit: Here